HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!!

My outfit to Christmas morning mass. It's not winter here in my country, we only have rainy season these time of the year. Eventhough no white snow to play snow fights or snow angels, I still have the feeling of Christmas here.. It's chilling here with all those cold water and weather I think it's enough. So i didn't wear sweater or thick clothes. Many people were in the church to celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus. After mass family and I went for lunch together. It was rare to gather in the festive season for the six of us. Fortunately, although it was only a lunch, we manage to get together. The bad news was, no pictures were taken because i forgot my camera.

 For us Christians the true meaning of Christmas is that our Saviour had been born to the world and become human. Not just partying about. Not getting drunk and all.
Before this i was all that not really related to true Christmas, but lately someone had taught me something really valueable lesson. Now i know that Christians symbol is fish because in the Scripture, our Lord gave His thousands of  people fishes and breads to eat. Shows how great is Jesus, not only then , but now and forever. 

And also the crib where Jesus was born is our decoration. When you sat alone watching at the crib, of course the most thing you realize is Jesus lying on the hay. But, it's not just that. Joseph, Mary, the shepherds, the kings, cows, and the sheeps completes all of it. For me, it symbolises love but there is sure a deeper meaning above it all.

I am so grateful finally i have realized the true meaning of Christmas. Jesus has come to save us all. Furthernore, this year a Christmas mass isn't just an ordinary mass to be attended but a journey full of meaning. Jesus has come to my heart and I believe that. I am full of joy.

Therefore, my friend, will you open your heart to Jesus or will you say "DON'T DISTURB"?

**HAVE A BLESSED CHRISTMAS WITH YOUR FAMILY**
GOD BLESS US :)

Life is short

Today i attended my grandaddy's funeral. He died of an old age of 84 years old. Mum was so sad and so all of our relatives. 

I can't believe that just about 4 days ago we visited him and now i already paid my last respect to him. How fast is the time goes. When he lived with us, when he still can walk, when he still can eat by himself and walk around the house, it just felt like yesterday. He had a half stroke and was laid on his bed for months before he passed away and my mum and my uncle Charles took turns to take care of him when he was alive.

I called my grandaddy "kake" in our language. He likes to chew on betel leaves,tobacco, and "pinang" (areca nut).

I still remember one morning he asked for my help to get some betel leaves from our neighbour and i was annoyed with him because before that there were many times already he asked me that. With so many house chores, i gave him excuses to finish my chores first then i'll attend to him. After hours he asked me again. "Li, ongoiyo da daing hilo d Katirin" (Li,go and take betel leaves from Catherine-neighbour) Yet i still didn't attend to him and gave excuse. This time i lied, "I've knocked on their door already, there's no people,maybe in the evening i'll check again okay?" However, i never did went to our neighbour and days just passed. I never give him his betel leaves.

When i went to uncle's house to visit his body yesterday, i felt some kind of feelings. Guilty, regret, sad and hurt. I'm hurt to see him laying there and at the same time recalled my wrongdoings to him. How i never wanted to have even a smallest talk with him. How i kept on annoyed with him because he's old and acted elderly. How i hesitate to clean his mess and everything i felt before, it all came back to me. He is just so lonely.

I really wanted to cry on the spot but i don't know which ego of me holding it back and to be strong. Part of me said to myself, "Be strong, don't cry. DO NOT CRY!" and i didn't and part of it just want to cry. I really didn't,only before they nailed the coffin i can't hold it back. My tears running down my cheeks like it couldn't stop.

All the way to the cemetery, i thought of, how life is too short for us. It was like yesterday you're this kind of people that can walk around enjoying the day and the next day you're dead. And  i was thinking that everything in most of us do in our life are only to satisfy our living needs. Just to get on our life. We are busting ourselves to get excellent result so we can get scholarship, get job, find partner and get married. Then, the children came along and then we get old and eventually we die and that's it. Life is meaningless like that.

'Every cloud has it's silver lining'

From aki's funeral, i learned something valuable. In life,we musn't chase things that only satisfy ourselves and only makes us happy. It's crucial that everyone around you are happy as well. And to have real faith in God that believing that dying is just the beginning of an eternal life. Also, not to neglect our loved ones. To show them how much we loved them and meant to us as long as we can and everything because we don't know when are they going to leave us. To be grateful to God because we've given chance to breathe again into another new day. To live our life to the fullest. And to ready ourselves for our own time to come.

Being sad is just the little things in our lives and as time goes by, our heart will heal. All we can do is to pray for aki that he'll be placed among the holy people in the heaven with God. We all loved you so much aki, we all do.

 R.I.P

Francis@Matigal Paladin (aki)

Beloved aki

 

 

 

Quarter of the family and relatives

Dated myself for a day..Wee~

Yes!Finally i get to go out from the house..Yay!!It felt like forever since i went out.With all the assignments, chores to do and helping my mum bake buns, my holiday drifted just like that. I didn't even start studying for next semester. Anyway,i had an awesome(well, at least for me) ME time today at the mall. No boyfriend, no girlfriends, no fussy, alone anyone but me. And...I even arrived at the mall as early as the 9am,see how excited i was?Unfortunately, the shops weren't open until 11am..T.T I should've run around the mall creating havoc if it wasn't my flat are killing me.

So, today i shop for long pants. My pants tore like so big the last time i wore it. Tried to sew it but really cannot be rescued. *Laughs

Seriously in need of some colour and here are some i've tried on. Really comfy and it's such a great deal. Only RM19.90 (Brands Outlet)

See that flat over there?That one really kill my feet and my feet felt wet of my sweat inside it. I bought a pair of that sandals because i really need a change of taste. Hope i won't get blisters on it.:)

 

Ta daa!!

 

Uh huh..Some pictures. That is so plain me taking pictures in the fitting room. Need to entertain myself.

 

 

Which one is better?Pants or skirt?

Have you ever?

Have you ever dreamed that someday you'll be big?That someday you'll eventually reached what you wanted with your own time and methods. Without knowing that as time goes what you've planned  for future aren't something within your reach? I do.

When i was small i always wanted to be a fashion designer. My favorite pastime is drawing clothes especially princess dresses. How i love that. However, as i grew up it's not towards my interest i forgot that fashion is what i love. Somehow i really forgot and took science subjects until lately i was wronged. I should have proceed to what i love long time ago.

Now, in college it's hard in science and whenever i'm finishing assignments i always drifted away of what i should wear in the next MED nightout. Or what accessories i should pair it up. And at the end i lose focus and didn't finish what i supposed to do.

I decided to kept on going in science and become a dentist in the future and open boutique but i admit that i'm not the bright ones anymore in college, hence it's quite hard to score  a good pointer as dentistry needed the best pointer they can get. So that's how it is. I would really like to go fashion school but i know it cost so much money and mom and dad cannot afford it and won't encourage me. That's the worst part. The last time before i chose college, they kept on persuading me to go for teaching, but it's all about me, i'm not interested. Hmm..yeaa..that's how it is. I'll just fill myself up with fashion by internet in the meantime and learn by myself. Let's just see how it goes okay? :) That's all from now.

Owh!Dusty!

OH My God!!It seems like i am not thaat interested in my blog anymore..Not that i am but it's just that i don't have time. Geez..Time is always there. Yeah, i didn't put a certain amount of time to spend on it. Since i got assignments, quizes, tutorials and all, that explain what is it. Apart from that, during holidays too i'm still bombarded by books. Exam is around the corner!!Eeeek! Meanwhile when i'm still at home, i guess i'll blog whatever is in my brain?Tehee..

Kolej Matrikulasi Labuan orientation..Tehee..:)

Just back from Kolej Matrikulasi Labuan yesterday and i'm actually feeling good about it. At first i was scared to be in new place but in the end i met many new friends from all over Borneo. We took a week for orientation and God the worst irritating word for the week was COMPRESS! Imagine in a not so big hall all of nearly 2000 people have to seat on the floor for hours to listen to the talk.

Knee to knee, and leg to leg. That's the space for a person to sit. The worst part was when i sat in the middle of the crowd. There was air-cond but i simply didn't feel any of the breeze. As the hall was full of noise from chattery students, the air getting hotter every minute and that time i felt sooo claustrophobic and depressed. I can't move my legs because it's crossed and it hurts.   

My back and hips were seriously cramped plus my legs!

Oh My God Oh My God!!That very moment i thought i was going to turn into The Hulk. However i'm glad i did not.(*laughs) It was really a lesson to learn because Michelle and i sat at the side for the rest of the orientation. We get to stretch our legs after that..Ahaks! XD Two words as stated by Toy, BONTOT CRAMP

Okay, enough of the orientation. I though KML was like some sort of SBP like Kale told me but she's definitely wrong and  it's a waste she didn't enroll to there, instead she was planning on UNIMAS or Taylor's College. Well, it's all up to yourself right? 

"If you think that's the best for you, IT IS the best."

Being a freshman, i really have to manage my time very very properly and finance. In order to get 4.00 CGPA, i must work hard by always seeing the lecturer for further guidance and of course marks. Hehee..Money? Yes! Definitely and a MUST! Or else i'll get hungry before the next allowance is given  and i admit some of the cafeteria is very expensive and i really need to think of a way to save up at least a few ringgit.

For now, i had my short one week break before study starts and i'm actually feeling positive about it. I had seen the light to achive excellence in KML and i look forward for studying. First thing first i need to ready myself so i can keep the momentum until i finish 2 semester. And through this orientation week, i now realise what's the true reason i'm busting my butt up all these years.MY PARENTS. I want to work hard to get 4.00 flat because i want to make them happy and proud and bring them to travel all around the world when i'm already succeed. That's the  first true and real reason i forgot all these years. I'M DOING THIS FOR MY PARENTS AND YES! I AM.

God, please help me. Walk with me in this journey that i'll never know what'll happen along it. Bless me in whatever i do because all i'm doing is for my parents. To make them happy. I know i'm a sinful slave of yours but truly from the deepest of my heart i'll pray to you day and night. Make my heart strong and tough so i will never give up in anything for example assignments,tutorials, or  my studies no matter how difficult it is. And teach me to love life, to love you God, to love to one and another because the first and foremost lesson of yours is to love each other. I really want to do this for them, achieving 4.00 flat so i can achieve my dreams and i believe nothing is possible with you. NOTHING! And at the end of the day teach me to be humble so i did not forget where i come from. Amen.

A splash of colour

The pictures aren't as good as taken by DSLR camera or professional photographer. I only take pictures with self-timer. Enough for now. I have to save more money to buy one good camera and maybe it stand too. Nevertheless, I am satisfied with the outcome.

Blazer-Cotton on

Shirt-Thirft shop

Belt-F.O.S

Pants-Padini Authenthics

Flat-Vincci (which i DIY)

DIY Ballet flat..

Since I'm feeling bored staying in the house doing nothing, i've decided to do some of my planned projects. One of it was DIYing my old flat. So, here's how..

Ballet flat

Flat, brushes, scissors, clips, super glue (or anything that suitable)

Cloth (in this case i used satin)

Actually I made this DIY according to one video. From there i got the inspiration and turn my flat into a new one with my own twist (jewels). Here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mj4rtjyYfG8

So, this is the outcome..:D I am quite happy with the outcome but of course there's lackness in the result because i didn't use the right glue. Hmm..:)

See??Happy trying!:D

Sweet and Sour Fish

I really love to eat but nowadays i rarely go out so haven't got the chance to take nice pictures about food i love..
So, here's dinner that i cooked today. Simple but tasty as i can say it. The sweet and sour fish? The pineapples just enhance the taste and i think the vegetables are cooked just nice. Thumbs up if you are a little bit hungry seeing this because both meal are finished! Haha..

Skin Food cutex

My birthday was exactly a month ago and I admitted that there wasn't much celebration. Only a small party with cake and my parents. But the good thing to not having any presents is you got money $.$ . I'm not the kind who tells everyone "Ooh..next week is my birthday next week is my birthday!!Presents?" Waay, no!I know my birthday is coming but i pretended to not know because i don't want people to say that i'm poyo with telling everyone. And my life goes on like that. Every year i didn't enjoy getting older as nothing catches my attention in being older except being a lot more mature and leaving high school. So, i saw this friend of mine, she kept on babbling about her upcoming birthday to everyone in the room or to peoples she knew and when it comes, she received so many birthday presents that enough to make me jealous of her. When thinking about it again, it's working (her method) Letting everyone else in the room to know without too much intentions of getting presents. Yes, I babble the way my friend did and feel less ashamed of asking birthday presents from friends and family. Which didn't turned out like i was expecting. Fortunately, Kale (the birthday babbler) was the one who gave me present and yayy for that :D

Skin Food cutex in midnight blue

I've been searching this for ages because of it shade and i admit it's quite hard as other brands were too pricey for only a cutex. So, thank you soo much Kale!!Love you till forever <3

Outerwear: Unbranded
Shirt: School sports shirt
LOL :D

Was camwhoring with my new cutex shade as i want to show some love to my girl. She was really touched by the pictures and appreciation given. Thumbs up!

One Republic-Secret (Cover by Shamry Fibian)

Seriously i have to keep up with my blog. It's getting rusty :P Meanwhile, when i was lazy i stumble with this one amazing cover by my friend Sam. For over 7+ years i didn't even know he can sing! I think he's a budding artist so WATCH OUT everyone..:D Should write more about him later and post his video when i find way to post it..Hmmphh..Newbie newbie..There's already a list of cover he made that is
1. Someone Like You-Adele
2. Hallelujah (English version)-Leonard Cohen
3. If I Ain't Got You-Alicia Keys
4. Secret-One Republic
One more thing, he sings like Anuar Zain too!He really should join The Voice because his voice is m*****f****** good..(Err..i don't really swear,so enough of the capital)

Luvin' ur Ex back

Just now when thinking about those old times, I suddenly cried when i remembered the memories i had. He was soo good and i can't even compare him with other guys. If i did, unfortunately they'll all lose. I already broke one of my promises with him because i said someday i'll start a blog. And he said don't ever ever blog about your past or else you'll cry when you read it back. So, I did now, at this moment. I just can't stop myself....

Baking time!!

Today i went to the baking bun workshop with my mum..Spent a wonderful and quality time with her and we took back a bunch of delicious buns to home!!

 

It was awesome and i might  want to try it out at home..
Workshop can be sign up at Persatuan Pengusaha Kecil Bumiputera Sabah but only for Ranau area.:)
YUMMY!

Terukir Di Bintang-Yuna

Learning this today :) Will post you all my video cover someday..

Dilemma

When i was 16 years old, i really wanted to take on Arts stream as i love fashion, music and business..I tried to convince my family with my choice but unfortunately they didn't support me..

They said that the certificate is much 'cheaper' than Science stream one. Soo, i think back. Okay maybe i'll be a veterinar and as soon as i set up clinic of my own at the future, i'll take on business..

And that too, my mum agreed less as she hesitate of me being with  sick animals. Then, i change..probably i'll be a dentist someday??

Yes!That's it!The reason i'm studying so hard and trying so hard to shine among anyone else. But, now my result is like that, all they want is me being a teacher so my life will be guaranteed. Never in my wildest dream i ever said that profession is bad or whatsoever. I'm just not that interested. 

The riskiest thing in life is to not taking the risk. 

Hence, i'm chasing my dreams and whatever happens in future i'm jobless or what, it's all up to me right. I'm just hoping that i'll be given support. That's all, i don't ask much:) Pleasee?

At last..It has come

Yes, all of us knew that today around 10am and up is the moment that everybody has been waiting for..Well, same to me too..

I got 8A's and 2B's..I cried soo hard just now knowing that i didn't achieve my target that is 10A+..:'(

Dah nangis puas puas tuu..I said to myself, "Life must go on no matter what. Think of your other friends that didn't even get the taste of a single A and compare their feelings to yours."

I should be grateful for what i have. 

And maybe this should be a motivation for me to excel more in university.

So, that's how it goes..:)

 NO doubt i feel jealous to my friends who got straight A+..Hmm..whatever it is I'll shine by my way..

SPM 2012 result!!

21 March 2013 is the legendary day.The day that every students of batch '95 is waiting..Well, for those who took SPM exams.

Honestly i am very very nervous! I worked until the midnight oil and really revise.Hopefully it all paid off..
I pray to God so i can get an excellent result as i was aiming to study abroad like the UK, Ireland or Czech Republic..Having faith!!

10 A+!!!!

UK!

Czech!

Ireland!

Happy Birthday Elisa!!:D

Time flies so fast.Without knowing it i am already 18 years old..I just can't believe it..Pejam celik pejam celik dahh dewasa dahh...hmm..
Thank you to all my besties,new friends,families and girlfriends for giving me such a wonderful memories to remember on this day..I truly appreciate it and will keep it all deep in my heart <3

Especially to my beloved mummy and daddy, thank you sooo much that i had a small scale party for the 3 of us tonight..Both of you are just sooo sweet,i want to cry T.T
The two of you have done sooo much for me and that biggest sacrifice will not be paid off forever. I just can make you both feel proud of me and make you smile :)

There's nothing luxury i wished for my sweet 18th birthday..It isn't fabulous enough like they have it on TV (My Super Sweet 16)
But, i just wish that my family will be together always, my parents and my health and lastly my SPM result..Really really having faith on it..May God bless me with excellent/flying colours result..Amenn..

Till then, and goodnight people!

Back for more!

After a long loong time i've been quiet, now i am truly really back to write..I know it's been a while.I was away.But now i'll not be away for that long..

So, stay tune for more:)

When i feel beautiful

I feel beautiful when i'm in a fit toned body, in my eyeliner, and,,when i am hydrated enough :)

Rev up your life and be active towards a healthy life..

A good ol' eyeliner is always girls bestfriend..

Drink for your life

What i ate today :3

Ferns..yes, you can actually eat it but NOT raw!!Cook it with dried squid and nyum3!!

My mum cooked chicken rice porridge for breakfast and  i still want it:)

Honey dew!!Delicious if  served chilled or make it into a juice..

Watermelon, better SERVE CHILLED!

Ouh..have you taste jackfruit "kuih"??Believe me, it's simple yet divine..

I loikee to eat..that's why i never lose weight..I only manage to maintain it..haha :D

Top wishlist 1#

1# The ombre 

2# The peplum 

3# The galaxy

Love love!!!They're just gorgeous but still can't lend my hands on it yet..were sooo busy until i didn't even got time to shop!Grr...